Are you a "helicopter parent"?

“Helicopter parent”? You don’t know what that is? Today’s parents are being accused of hovering over their child’s life. This can have the effect of interfering with the child’s learning how to solve problems for themselves and with developing related decision making abilities.

Try this self-assessment to determine the degree to which YOU are hovering over your adult son or daughter like a helicopter: 

• Overinflate their ego?
• When they were younger, did you insist that they got a trophy at the end of their athletic season regardless of their team’s record?
• Micro-manage their daily schedule, from birth through college?
• Intervene in his or her college roommate dispute?
• Contact the campus Judicial Affairs Coordinator in an attempt to expunge your adult son or daughter’s record of their underage drinking violation and not have them required to attend alcohol education class?
• Contact the Vice President for Academic Affairs and complain about a faculty member’s grading system when your son earns a grade he doesn’t think he deserves?
• Contact the Health Services office when your daughter cannot register for the next term because she has a “hold” placed on her records for failure to return the mandatory Student Health Record Form?
• You didn’t write your son’s college admission essay did you?
• How many times per day do you call your daughter? (Cell phones are sometiimes referred to as symbolic umbilical cords!)

A Few Suggestions

• Do provide your college student with your best advice, then “let go”.
• Allow, even insist, that your adult son or daughter fully develops their own problem solving style and decision-making abilities.
• Allow them to experience the consequences of their actions (because that is where learning occurs).
• To preclude raising a child who waits to be told what to do, relate to them as psychologically mature and competent adults.

The Mission/Vision Statement of the University of Pittsburgh at Johnstown provides a clear statement of the educational opportunities, values and aspirations we hold for ourselves and our students. We appreciate working with our community of students in the pursuit of the stated mission and vision. Parents are also appreciated for exerting a strong positive influence on their sons and daughters to develop their full potential as lifelong learners and valued members of our world community.

(The UPJ Mission/Vision statement can be accessed by clicking here).

(Click here if you want to return to The Transition From Home to College page)